


Crossing the Distance

by kilroy



Category: PlanetES
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 22:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kilroy/pseuds/kilroy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fee's family visits her on ISPV 7 for the first time after an accident aboard ship puts her in the hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossing the Distance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeccaStareyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaStareyes/gifts).



> Thanks as ever to Lucy Gillam for her beta, and for pointing out things that were invisibly in front of my nose.

The waiting area on the space station was surprisingly empty. On one side of the room, Ai Tanabe drifted up and down on a guide bar, constantly shifting her weight in what was the nearest zero-gravity equivalent to pacing. Yuri Mihairokov looked at his co-worker across the hallway, one foot hooked securely to another bar, arms crossed and relaxed.

"Tanabe," he said gently. She turned to face him; then, realizing what she was doing, stopped. "Sorry. I'm just nervous," she admitted.

He nodded. "You have nothing to be nervous about. Fee is fine and their flight went smoothly. They should complete docking procedures in a few minutes."

"I know," she said, wringing her hands for a moment. "But I've never met Fee's family! I don't want them to think we're irresponsible, letting her get hurt like that."

"It was an accident," he responded calmly. "No one did anything wrong. Besides, Stephen doesn't seem like the sort of man to lash out."

She nodded warily. "So.... you've met her family, Yuri?"

"Once. Fee keeps her family and her job fairly separate, but she allowed me to stay at her house during Toybox's thruster refit two years ago."

"They live in Florida, right?" she asked.

Yuri nodded. "Cape Canaveral is less than an hour away, so it's easy for her to get to and from orbit. And Al swears he can hear the ships take off when the winds are right," he added with a smile.

"I bet he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up," Ai said earnestly.

Yuri responded with a chuckle, "I don't think Al has settled on a career just yet. He's very... curious."

"I see," she replied. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Stephen is American," he said thoughtfully. "His family is Scottish, though, so he was happy to take Fee's name. I understand he actually has her tartan somewhere." Yuri stroked his chin while he considered. "I think Stephen was brought up by his father as an only child. He has a strong sense of humor; he's one of those people it's very difficult to put off-balance."

"And Al?"

Yuri looked shrewdly at his co-worker. "You sound worried."

Ai turned away slightly and said quietly, "I don't have a lot of experience with children."

"You'll be fine," he assured her. "Just be yourself. Al is very easy to get along with."

"I hope so," she started, "I..."

But she was interrupted by the intercom: "Flight 481 will begin debarking momentarily. Passengers may be met in the Loading Area 7."

"That's our flight!" said Ai, pointing at the speaker.

"Then we had better move quickly," agreed Yuri.

The two of them bounced down the corridors; Yuri with a practiced grace, Ai with slightly less skill and much less confidence. They still arrived in the loading area well before the passengers began to leave the shuttle, but after a few awkward minutes Yuri nodded his chin at their guests as they emerged from the airlock.

Stephen Carmichael was at least a head taller than Ai and probably a few inches over Fee herself; clean-shaven, dark-haired, and clearly glad to be off the spacecraft. He moved with care, trying to make up for his lack of space legs by approaching his movements with caution and attention. Al, on the other hand, blew straight out of the airlock, zipping by the flight attendant at the gate and straight into the loading area. He was spinning slightly, clearly out of control but enjoying it immensely. Yuri steadied himself against a wall and reached out a long arm to grab Al neatly out of the air.

"Yuri!" said Al delightedly. "You caught me!"

"Well," said Yuri with mock consideration, "I could have let you bounce down the corridor, but you would have been in everyone's way."

Al nodded energetically, then turned to wave to his father. Stephen climbed along one wall to join them, grinning in a way that entirely belied his careful manner. Ai was also surprised to find that he spoke perfect--if oddly accented--Japanese. "I'm glad you're here, Yuri. I have enough trouble reining him in on the floor."

Yuri laughed gently and Al rolled his eyes, whining "Daaaad!" Then he looked at Tanabe and stuck out a hand. "Hi! I'm Al Carmichael."

Ai dipped her head respectfully. "Very nice to meet you, Al." Then she straightened herself and put her small hand around his even smaller one. "I'm Ai Tanabe. I work with your mother."

"Oh, you fly on the Toybox! Do you think we'll get to see it while we're here?"

His father sported a pained look. "I think we should see your mother first, Al, don't you?"

"Well, yeah! But after!"

Yuri caught Tanabe's eye while father and son re-negotiated the terms of their visit, motioning to Al and cocking an eyebrow as if to say, _See? Curious._

* * *

  
Hachimaki shifted continuously in his chair; Fee was unsure if he was more uncomfortable about his being in the hospital again, her being in the hospital at all, or just having to deal with the artificial gravity in the rotating ring of the station. In any case, the squeaking from the plastic chair was driving her insane. She turned her head on the pillow and growled "Hachirota! _Stop. It._"

To her satisfaction he did stop, but then he flashed one of his idiot grins and she had to fight the twin urges to roll her eyes and leap out of the bed to strangle him. Fortunately, while she was trying to figure out how to un-hook herself from the monitors he caught the expression on her face and subsided. Trying not to meet her angry glare, he glanced at the clock and said, "Should be any minute now, Fee."

"I can still tell time, Hachi," she groused. She tried to let the irritation fade, but it didn't help that her co-worker kept looking at the machines instead of her-- as if they could tell him something she couldn't. As she was about to comment, a frown crossed his face and he said, "Are you sure you're up to this? Your lungs probably haven't healed all the way, and you're going to end up talking a lot."

The genuine concern in his voice gave her the hold she needed to put the frustration away, even if he was being patronizing. She could talk to him about that later. Letting it go with a breath, she commented, "Obviously you've never met my family." Hachi looked at her questioningly and she managed a small smile. "I'll be lucky to get a word in edgewise."

He seemed unconvinced. "You're sure," he asked.

"Yes, Hachi, I'm sure." she affirmed. "It'll be good to see them."

He started to respond with "Yeah, well..." but was abruptly cut off by the door opening and Al exploding through it, yelling "Mom!" as he latched onto his mother for a fierce hug. Hachi stood there for a moment open-mouthed, then shook his head in amusement as Fee laughed and hugged her son back. They wrestled for a moment as she tried to keep him from disconnecting her from the instruments, but eventually she managed to hold him so that she could look in his eyes. "If it isn't the little king himself," she said warmly. "Hello, you."

Al grinned at her, managing a "Hi!" before becoming absorbed by the stack of machinery behind his mother's bed. "Wow," he said reverentially. "You're like a robot!"

In the background, Hachi stifled a laugh as Fee responded with an exaggerated, open-mouthed gasp. "Albert!" she started, but her son dissolved into a fit of giggles before she could finish pretending to chastise him. She satisfied herself with smiling and shaking her head. After he'd finished, she asked "So where's your father?"

"Here," said Stephen as he stepped through the door, Ai and Yuri close behind. "Our son got away from me. Again," he continued. "Are you sure you won't reconsider letting me leash him?"

Albert groaned again. "Daaaad!"

Yuri lowered his head apologetically. "It was our fault, Fee," he said with a trace of a smile. "He was just too fast for us."

The captain nodded gravely, saying "I'm not surprised. Our son runs faster than he thinks" as she poked Al in the chest. He grinned unrepentantly. Meanwhile, Stephen stepped over to his son and wife, reaching to take Fee's hand for a quick squeeze. "Look at you," he said as he ran his other hand through her hair. "You've really been through the wringer, haven't you?"

She grimaced and the cannula shifted a little under her nose. "Breathing has been a bit more work than it should be for the past few days."

Al asked carefully, "But you're okay, right?"

She nodded. "I'm fine. Or I will be in a few days, at least."

"Good," he said with an authoritative finality. "So when do I get to see the Toybox?"

Standing back with Ai and Yuri, Hachi exclaimed, "Since when do you get to come on our ship?"

Al looked at him quizzically, then said, "My mom _is_ the captain."

Tanabe was mortified, but Stephen actually had to sit down on the bed from laughing. Hachi looked like he was building up to a retort when Fee responded, "Maybe in a day or two, Al. I want to show you around myself, and they're still monitoring me for a little while."

"Awwwww," her son responded remorsefully. "So what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

Yuri raised a hand to suggest, "I'm sure that Hoshino-san would be happy to take care of Al for a little while."

Hachi's jaw dropped. "I'd _what_? Since when did you..."

Seemingly without hearing, Yuri continued, "He could show him around the station, teach him a little about zero gravity-- I can't think of anyone more qualified."

Al looked Hachi over suspiciously. "Are you sure you can take care of me?"

Once again Hachimaki opened his mouth to reply, but before he could speak Fee cut in with "Of course he can! Thanks, Hachi. I owe you one."

The two of them exchanged a long, communicative look, and Hachi was the first to break it. He sighed a little and shrugged, then straightened visibly as he tried to at least look enthusiastic about the idea. "All right," he said as he marshaled his energy. "C'mon Al. We don't need these guys anyway."

Al leapt away off the bed. "Really? Awesome!" As Hachimaki led him out the door, he remembered to turn around to wave at his parents. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay," replied Fee with a smile. When the door had shut she shook her head and looked wryly at her husband. "Well, we certainly know where his priorities are."

Stephen grinned. "Can you blame him?"

"I guess not." She looked at Yuri and Ai. "Thanks, you two."

"Our pleasure," responded Yuri as he stepped towards the door. "I'll be taking one of the rabbits to the veterinarian, but please call me if you need anything else." Fee nodded and returned his half-wave as he left. Then she looked at Tanabe, who bowed slightly. "Is there anything else I can do for you or your husband, Fee?" she asked.

Stephen glanced at his wife, then asked, "Is there anywhere around here I can get a coffee now that my stomach's settled?"

"Oh, yes! This station has a cafeteria," said Ai enthusiastically. "I'll get you one."

"Actually," he said as she started to get up, "If you don't mind, I'd like to go with you-- I've found it's always a good idea to know where the food is when Al's around. But... can I have a few minutes with my wife first?"

Ai blushed deeply, managing to squeak out an "Of course! I'll wait outside" before escaping and closing the door behind her.

Stephen looked at Fee and raised an eyebrow. "Is she always like that?"

"Only when she's nervous," she smiled.

"Nervous?" he said. "Maybe I'm more intimidating than I remember."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," she said warmly. "Come here."

They embraced for a long minute amidst the wires and tubes, him pulling back for a gentle kiss and another on her forehead as he disengaged. She kept his hand, though.

"You didn't have to come, you know," she said.

"Yes, well, I didn't have to marry you either," he replied. "But here we are."

She squeezed his hand gratefully, taking a moment just to look at him. She thought could see a few more gray hairs, especially near the temples. The laugh lines on his face might be just a little deeper, the few tiny freckles on his cheeks a little darker from the summer sun. But the deep brown of his eyes, at least, never changed. As she stared he turned his head, modeling for her, and she couldn't help a smile. "You look fine," she told him.

"So do you, all things considered," he said as he looked at the equipment. "I was afraid it was going to be a lot worse."

She leaned back against her pillow to look at the machines with him, trying not to think about the monitors taped to her torso, the drip in her arm, or the plastic tube under her nose. "It wasn't as bad as it could have been," she said. "I only inhaled a little coolant-- just enough for a few days of coughing and wheezing, not enough to really get into my blood. But they had to keep me here for a few days to be sure."

"I suppose I should send a thank you note to that cigarette company for toughening you up..." he joked automatically, but then shook his head. "Sorry."

"It's all right," she said with the ghost of a smile. "Maybe not up to your usual standards, though."

He smiled back a little, but she could tell he didn't really feel it. "You were lucky, then," he stated.

She grimaced. "If I was lucky it wouldn't have happened in the first place. But Toy Box is old..." She took a breath, stopped herself before she inhaled too much and started coughing, then let it out. "Yes, I was lucky. Well-trained, careful, and very, very lucky."

He let that one hang in the air for a moment. "You know, most of the time I don't even worry about you," he said. "And then something like this happens."

"Most of the time you don't have to worry," she said quietly. "But I'm glad when you do."

This time he squeezed her hand, glad for once not to have to rely on words.

* * *

  
Stephen was relieved to find that the cafeteria on the station was just like a cafeteria anywhere else. He offered to buy Ai her juice, she offered to buy his coffee, and they ended up buying each others' drinks-- which only annoyed the cashier. When they sat down Stephen was already more relaxed than Ai would have given him credit for; the tension she'd noticed on his face outside of Fee's room was already fading.

Stephen sipped his drink with satisfaction, either not noticing her staring at him or pretending not to. After a few moments he commented, "It was good of your friend to watch Al for a little while."

Tanabe nodded positively. "Sempai's actually really good with kids. He never really grew up."

She realized what she'd said a fraction of a second afterwards, but before she could backpedal Stephen laughed. "That sounds about right, actually, at least according to Fee," he said. Seeing she was still embarrassed, he added, "Don't worry, I won't tell him you said anything."

"Thank you," she said gratefully, eliciting a smile from him.

"Really, I'm happy to hand him off to someone I can trust," he continued. "Normally I can handle Al, but ever since we started this trip he's been... a little much."

"I'm sure he's just worried about Fee," Ai offered.

Stephen shook his head, still smiling but a little more serious. "I don't think he really understands what happened. To him this is more like a vacation-- his first adventure in space," he said dramatically. "He's actually never been in orbit before; he's only just old enough. But he's always wanted to, which means he's been bouncing off the walls. Literally, up here."

The joke and the sentiment made Ai smile. "I understand. I remember the first time I was in space. It was a whole new world."

"I was always pretty happy with Earth, but I know what you mean," he agreed.

A few moments passed in companionable silence; Stephen seemed the patient type, so Ai started the next round of conversation. "Your Japanese is very good, Mr. Carmichael."

"Stephen, please," he said. "And thank you. I work for a company that makes translation software, and it's useful to be able to check my work personally." He grinned. "Although I have to tell you, speaking Japanese with a Scottish accent is a real challenge."

Ai nearly snorted her juice up her nose at that one. After she had collected herself, he said, "I can tell you have a lot of questions, Ai. Are you going to ask them?"

She began to visibly shrink in her seat, but Stephen laughed again. "It's fine. If I'd spent the last three months getting to know you and your husband showed up, I'd be curious too."

"I'm sorry," she said meekly. "It's just... she never talks about you and Al. I feel like I don't know anything about you at all."

He nodded with a self-deprecating smile. "Well, I'm not too surprised. She's a very independent woman, my wife. I don't expect she spends much time moping around with my picture."

"Stephen!" she said with surprise. "I'm sure she misses you terribly!"

"Oh, I know she does," he agreed. "But that's not going to stop her from getting things done."

Ai nodded slightly, trying to sort out the picture of Fee in her mind. "Fee is... out of all of us, even Yuri, she's the one who talks about home the least. I could never understand that." She looked up. "Not with you and Al in her life."

He smiled again. She was so _young_. "She's more connected than you think. We talk to her at least twice a week, and I know Al emails her constantly. She's always home for his birthday, our anniversary, and the holidays."

"Still," Ai continued. "That just doesn't seem like it would be enough."

Stephen chuckled. "Distance is a state of mind more than anything else; you learn to keep each other in your thoughts. It's not the same, I admit, but it's enough to be getting on with."

The pure, unconvinced look on her face almost made him laugh again-- it actually reminded him very much of Al. But he reined it in, knowing it would only hurt her feelings. Instead, he leaned in towards her and said, "Let me tell you a secret about my wife. Do you know how often she smokes when she's on the ground?"

Tanabe frowned in disapproval. "Probably a lot more," she guessed. "It's so hard to smoke up here."

But Stephen shook his head. "She doesn't smoke planetside," he revealed. "Not in our house, not outside, not anywhere. Not one cigarette."

"But..." began Ai, confused. "She's..."

"She doesn't need to," Stephen answered her unspoken question. "She's not addicted-- well, not so much that she couldn't stop if she wanted to. I seriously doubt there's anything other than flying that could ever hook her that badly." He smiled. "When she gets home, she just doesn't need to smoke. So she stops."

He waited for the obvious question, which Ai promptly asked: "But then why does she smoke up here?"

"Because she grew up in Virginia," he explained. "I don't know how much you know about American geography, Ai, but Virginia is one of the last vestiges of the old tobacco country. While she was a kid her dad smoked, and both of her dad's parents, and pretty much everyone else she knew at one time or another." He leaned back in his chair and continued, "It's not a conscious thing most of the time, but the connection is there. The smell takes her back. It's her escape-- or her way of staying grounded, if you want to look at it like that."

Tanabe let the idea sink in for a little while before she said, "I never knew."

"And I never told you," he added sardonically. "If she wants to talk about it with you, she will. In her own time."

"I understand," she agreed. "Thank you."

Later, as they moved to leave the cafeteria, a question occurred to Tanabe. "Stephen?"

"Yes?"

"Do you smoke?"

He grinned ruefully. "Only on deadlines. And never in space."

* * *

  
In her dreams, Fee was on a treadmill. This was not an unusual activity for her; treadmills were fairly common on space stations. The strange part was that the treadmill wasn't plugged into anything-- in fact it was in the middle of an open field, full of flowers underneath a fluffily clouded sky. She looked around and saw that there were parade-ground-style bleachers with bunting on either side of her treadmill, full of audience members dressed in full winter gear with scarves and woolly hats, waving flags and cheering her on as she ran in place. One of the special boxes was empty, though, and as she stopped on the treadmill to ask about it, the audience took one big indrawn breath...

"Mom!" shouted the sleep-shattering voice of her son. As she struggled to wakefulness, she began to process what her child was saying, eventually catching up at "...and then he showed me the hangar deck, and we looked at the blueprints for the space station! Mom, are you listening?"

She nodded groggily, noticing that Hachi was looking at the ceiling miming whistling. Fee shot him what she thought was a terrifying look, but it didn't seem to help. Meanwhile, Al had looped back on himself to start talking about his day in even greater detail starting again from the beginning.

Listening to him was strange for Fee; he was normally fairly excitable, but he seemed absolutely turbo-charged today. As she listened and watched him gesticulating, she wondered when he had learned about rotational gravity, and rocketry, and words like "trajectory," which he used almost correctly. When Al was done talking about his day he started listing off the things that he still had to do: "I want to try eating in zero gravity 'cause I hear it's really hard, and I should probably wear something made of plastic so I can wipe myself off. I need to get Dad to get a new camera-- we left ours at home, and I want pictures that I can show Gladstone when we get back home. And you still need to show me the Toybox!"

Fee utterly failed in her attempt to look apologetic. "So you like it up here, huh?"

"It's neat!" said Al with enthusiasm, launching into another extended explanation.

Shortly, Stephen appeared with Tanabe-- resulting predictably in Al's dashing over to him saying, "Dad! Do you know what I've been doing?"

"No," Stephen said equably, "But I'm sure I'll hear all about it."

"Yeah!" said Al, missing the irony completely. Fee smiled, glad that he hadn't figured out sarcasm, at least.

"So," Stephen said as he looked at his wife. "I was talking to one of the nurses and he said we could bring you some food from the cafeteria if you wanted. How does that sound?"

Fee groaned as her stomach gurgled. "I would _kill_ for some real food, Stephen. I would literally murder a man."

Al shook his head at his mother. "Murder is bad, Mom."

Stephen gracefully riposted with "Well, then we'd better remove the temptation." As they haggled about what to get for dinner, Yuri popped in to check on Fee-- he ended up helping carry the food with Hachi, and sitting down with everyone for a meal in the hospital room.

During dinner, everyone joined in the conversation about life in space, throwing in anecdotes and questions, jokes and facts. Hachi would occasionally throw out his arms, trying to describe things with his hands and being repeatedly told to calm down by Tanabe; Stephen and Yuri kept tossing dry comments at each other, playing a sort of verbal tennis against the crosswind between Al and Hachi. Al barely slowed down while eating, getting out questions and exclamations between nearly every bite. But Fee was mostly quiet, watching Al as she ate and only contributing when spoken to directly. The conversation flowed fine without her, but as dinner went on Stephen found himself sneaking more than a few glances at his wife. When the food was done and cleared away, he asked Yuri to take Al back to the apartment-- which Yuri gracefully consented to do, being asked question after question by Al even as they went down the hallway. Ai picked up the garbage and said goodnight to both of them, drafting Hachi to help her carry it out.

Once they were alone again, Stephen looked his wife fully in the eyes, trying to read the expression on her face. "What is it, Fee?"

She stared at the wall. "Nothing fair."

He searched the same spot on the wall, seeing nothing but flat and empty beigeness. "Fair to you, or fair to me?"

"Fair to Al, I think."

His only reply was an exhaled "Ah," and she shot him an annoyed look. "Would you care to explain that 'ah,' husband mine?"

He snorted at the tone but spread his hands in a placating gesture. "I think I might recognize that feeling, that's all."

"I know," she said, deflating a little. "It's just... I remember when he was born. I remember before he was born."

Stephen nodded. "And now he's zipping around a space station having conversations about extravehicular activities with your friends."

"And that's not even the worst part," she said. "I'm looking at him and I'm not even seeing _him_, Stephen. I'm seeing him in a few years, up here doing this for himself. Or I'm imagining all the things he's done without me already. I just can't _focus_." She paused, hung up on the emotion, and looked at her husband. "Does that make sense?"

"You have no idea," he said seriously. "I've seen Al every day since he was born. He managed two and a half steps the first time he walked, and I was there to catch him. His first word was 'Out!,' and he was talking to me." He paused to meet his wife's gaze. "But the first day he went to school, I felt the same way you do right now. I thought about all those hours I'd be losing, all the time I'd already lost. I couldn't stop counting, and considering, and imagining... stacking up all the things I could never have in my mind.

"When he got home I just managed not to crush him with overwrought hugging, and that night I read him stories for hours until he fell asleep. I stayed there until late in the night, just watching him the way you used to." Then he smiled, surprising Fee a little. "But you know what happened the next morning?" he asked. She shook her head, and his smile grew into a grin. "Absolutely nothing. He woke me up like a miniature bomb going off, decided we were going to make breakfast together, and then packed off to school again. It was, I must admit, the first of many such days."

She looked askance at her husband. "Is this the part where you tell me it was a little less bad that day, and that it passed in time?" she asked archly.

"Not really," he said. "A few days later was the famous Noodle Incident at school, and that pretty much occupied all my worry-time for the next month."

She laughed even though she didn't want to. He said "You're welcome," and she just shook her head.

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" she asked.

He touched her hand. "It was supposed to remind you that you aren't alone."

She wrapped her fingers around his, closing her eyes and just feeling the warm roughness of him-- remembering. When she opened them again a long time later, she said, "Sometimes I wish I'd stayed with you, Stephen."

"You did stay with me," he replied.

"I meant on Earth."

"Oh, you could have," he agreed with some amusement. "And you would have been staring at the sky every spare moment, bored to tears and sad as winter rain."

"I wouldn't have been that bad," she refuted.

"Yes," he replied firmly, "you would."

She looked him in the eye for a moment but couldn't hold it. "All right, maybe," she admitted. "Still."

Stephen considered his wife, then said, "You still have the rest of his life, Fee. You've got tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. When you come home in a few years he won't even be a teenager-- and believe me, when he hits puberty I'm going to need all the help I can get. He's happy, and he's safe, and he loves you. He'll wait."

"I know," she said as she let out a long, careful breath. "I just wish he could stay still for a while."

Her husband snorted. "That wish will never be granted."

She smiled and squeezed her husband's hand. Out in the hallway the nurses began doing their last rounds in preparation for the night cycle.

"Why is it that I understand everything about my life perfectly except when you two are around?" Fee asked.

"I have no idea," said Stephen. "Love confuses everybody."

* * *

  
Al gradually subsided into thoughtful silence as they walked down the corridors to the hotel. Eventually, he asked, "Yuri? What do you do when somebody dies in space?"

A little startled, Yuri had to take a second before he could answer. "Well, it depends. Most of the time we send the body back down to Earth so the family can have a funeral, but sometimes an astronaut asks to be kept up here in one form or another." He paused, then decided to pursue it. "Why do you ask?"

Al gave him with a surprised look, apparently totally unaware of the implications of his question. "I'm just trying to understand how people live up here. Everything is different." He looked at Yuri accusingly. "You even have to go to the bathroom weird."

Yuri couldn't help but smile at that one. "True. But you get used to most of it after a while."

"Most?" asked Al as they stopped to let some cross traffic pass by at an intersection.

Considering, Yuri answered, "You never really forget Earth. Once I woke up in one of the lounges on the station after a nap-- I was hot, so I thought I should open a window."

"But you couldn't," said Al definitively. "You were in space."

Yuri nodded. "I almost tried anyway before I remembered where I was. I wouldn't have been able to do anything-- the windows can't actually be opened-- but for just a moment..." he let his voice trail off. Al tried to read Yuri's expression, but the Russian just shrugged and motioned that it was safe for them to go through the intersection.

Several more doors and intersections passed as they got closer to their destination. As they were traveling, Al remembered something else he wanted to ask. "Hachi told me that you take care of animals for people," he said. "Do you have any dogs?"

Yuri shook his head. "Just a few puppies. Big animals aren't really safe in zero gravity; the only animals we have up here we have to keep in cages."

Al pulled a face. "That's sad."

"Perhaps. But it's the way things have to be, at least for now."

Finally they reached the hotel. When they got to the right room, Al pulled the keycard out of his pocket and slid it through the lock with a beep. Yuri came inside to make sure that Al knew how to use all the fixtures and appliances, and to confirm that--yes--he had his own bed. While Al was getting ready to sleep, Stephen called to say that he'd be there in a few minutes. After helping Al brush his teeth, Yuri nodded in satisfaction and said, "I'll wait outside until your father gets here, Al. Is there anything else you want before I go?"

Al thought about it for a moment. "No. I'll be okay." Then he pushed himself towards his sleeping nook and waved. "Good night, Yuri! See you tomorrow."

Yuri turned out the light in the main room as he left. "Good night, Albert. Sleep well."

As he lingered in the hallway, he found himself thinking about the Von Braun being assembled on the moon for its trip to Jupiter. He imagined all the questions Al could ask him about it, going over the hows and whats of the journey in his head. When Stephen arrived to relieve him a few minutes later, he favored him with a quizzical glance and asked "And why exactly are you smiling like that, Mr. Mihairokov?"

"Your son," Yuri replied sagely. "I was just realizing that there are some questions he will never have to ask."

* * *

  
Ai was, unusually for her, not asleep when Fee called her in the middle of the night. She'd been reading a book on a tablet that her mother had sent her years ago, and was a little surprised by how late it actually was.

When she got to the hospital, she passed a rather perturbed-looking nurse heading out of Fee's room. As she poked her head in, Fee was unplugging herself from the various instruments. The captain looked up as the door slid open and flashed a grateful smile; not sure what to say, Ai simply handed her the bag of clothes she'd retrieved from her room. As Fee took it, she said, "Thanks, Tanabe."

"It was nothing," she replied. Fee started dressing herself, and Ai politely looked away. Over her shoulder, she asked, "You're checking out tonight?"

The other woman smirked. "That depends on whether we can get out of here before that nurse can find a doctor."

The two of them managed to escape before that happened, and Fee headed unerringly out of the gravity ring towards one of the station's observation lounges. Most space stations had at least one or two of them-- little rooms away from the main thoroughfares that were basically just excuses to have windows. This one was kept dim during the night cycle, and right now almost all the illumination came from the stars, lights, and ships outside. The breath of relief Fee let out when she got her first look made Ai smile.

Fee turned to her, rotating easily in the zero gravity, and asked, "Could you...?"

"Of course," she said with a nod.

After Tanabe left, Fee found herself reaching out to touch the viewport, feeling the coolness of it. When her husband and son floated in, she saw their reflections in the glass. She turned and beckoned for them to come over, holding them both with her as they all looked out into the night.

After a time, Al turned to look up at Fee. "Mom?"

"Yes?" she said.

"Why do you do it?"

He didn't sound angry, or depressed, or frustrated; but he asked the question so quietly that Fee looked to Stephen before she answered. "Stay here, you mean?" she asked, and Al nodded. "Well, lots of reasons." She looked out the window again. "It's beautiful, for one thing."

Al looked out to the stars that were clearer and sharper and more numerous than anywhere on the ground, the Milky Way stretching out into forever like one of the beaches back home. "Yeah," he agreed quietly. Then he turned to his mother again. "But that's only one reason."

She chuckled and ruffled his hair. "You're not going to let me out of this one, are you?" she asked.

"Nope," he said with a straight face. "I want to know."

She nodded. "All right." It was a difficult question with a lot of different answers, but as she looked at her family a memory surfaced immediately. "I remember a few years ago when I came home for your birthday," she said. "Your dad had finally started letting you into the yard by yourself, and I remember that as soon as Dad said you could go play, you flew out the door to the very edge of the yard as if your life depended on it. You only stopped because of the fence, and you practically crashed into that."

Stephen was smiling. "I remember that. You were shocked! You asked me what was wrong."

"And you said he always did that," Fee agreed. Then she looked at her son. "You still do. So why do you always run like that?"

It looked to Fee as if he had the answer immediately, but he still thought about it for a second before he spoke. "Because... I want to go as far as I can. Because I like running. And because I want to see what's over the fence."

"Even though you know perfectly well what's over the fence," said Stephen with dry humor.

"It _changes_ sometimes!" responded Al, to which Stephen had to raise his hands in surrender.

Fee smiled at them both. "See? You already know the answer," she told her son.

"What answer?"

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "The answer to your question," she said. "Why I stay here. It's the same reasons you run everywhere." She waved a hand at the window. "This is as far as we can go. There are other ships that will get more miles from Earth, but you can't find anywhere less like home than space. We have no idea what we'll find out there. And being up here at all is... it's like proving we can do anything." She turned back to her son. "And I love that feeling. It gives me hope."

Al thought about that for a moment. "And because you like flying?" he asked.

"And because I like flying," she admitted.

They hung there for a while in silence, until Al inevitably spoke up with "Mom?"

"Yes, kiddo?"

"I like space a lot, but I don't know if I want to live here."

She smiled. "It's okay. You don't have to, and you've got a long time to decide."

"Amen to that," said Stephen quietly as he put his arm around her waist. And she leaned into his shoulder, pulled her son up between them, and breathed.


End file.
